1. |
Blank Paralysis
04:17
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Is this what it feels like to sleepwalk through a whole life
Been going through the motions
Like I've got nothing better to do
*But you should*
Maybe I should work on improving myself for once
See if something sticks for more than a month
Does anyone believe I can see things through
I have a never-ending list of unfinished to-dos
I could finally try out some portion control
Do things that require my self-control
Work on more than my mental health
Can I push through my desire to give up on myself
Saying I'm sad would understate it
But depression would be a hyperbole
I don't want to exaggerate this rut that I'm in
But it's a parasite infecting me
It's a parasite infecting me
I've been stuck in a fog, in a funk, in a haze
Will I ever make it out of this pointless maze
I just need some direction to turn me around
Can't remember the last time my feet felt the ground
Saying I'm sad would understate it
But depression would be a hyperbole
I don't want to exaggerate this rut that I'm in
But it's a parasite infecting me
It's a parasite infecting me
I've been sidelined by my hesitancy
I've been drowning in my apathy
Don't want to lose my twenties to stagnancy
Don't want to lose all my friendships to complacency
Please wake up
Please wake up
Has my whole life been a nightmare
*No, it's been a blank stare*
Please wake up
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2. |
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Don't break my stare
Cause I can't see where your
Where your head's at
Behind all that hair
That's where you bury it when it's not in your hands
Cause if it can't see you
It can't hurt you
And it can't touch you
It can't feel you
Like you can't feel it
Like you can't trust it
Like you don't know it
Like you don't know me
Cause I'm so serious
The time we spent between just us
Is not worth losing over your mistrust
I can't hear you
I can hear you whimper
Just above a whisper
No please speak up
I can hear your quivers
Just above your shivers
And I can't hear your lying
Above all your crying
Above all your sighing
Don't break my stare
Cause I can't see where your
Where your head's at
Behind all that hair
That's where you bury it when it's not in your hands
And it might hurt me
But I'm not scared of that right now
I'll be tough enough to hear you out
And if we face the facts to realize we cannot be happy
Then I will do what's best for you
But I don't know what that is
Cause you won't say what you're thinking
So I'm left guessing and wondering
But guessing was never my strong suit
Communication the same for you
So we'll silently face the end of me and you
Don't break my stare
Cause I can't see where your
Where your head's at
Behind all that hair
That's where you bury it when it's not in your hands
Now I hope your head's raised up
And you hold yourself up high
If you're doing well, that just might help me sleep better at night
And I don't miss you
But I hope you've figured yourself out
Like I never could
I don't miss that too, just like you now
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3. |
Lucille 2
03:31
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My head is spinning bad from the vertigo
I can't stand back up to vertical
I'm stuck in the eternal horizontal
With frantic revolutions in my orbitals
My head is ringing bad like a dinner bell
My mind is spinning round like a carousel
Throw my barren body in a wishing well
Where I can learn to drown out this endless hell
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but I've never been this trapped in my own head
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but I've never wallowed in this much dread
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but I'm dizzy and I'm not on the comedown
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but I can't tell which way is up from down
I'll learn to lay down and to let it pass
Cause I can't stand up inside this mess
Can you tell me what I did to ever deserve this
Why can't I get out of this
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but I've never been this trapped in my own head
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but I've never wallowed in this much dread
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but I'm dizzy and I'm not on the comedown
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but I can't tell which way is up from down
And I can never forget the things you did to me
But this headache is just my own misery
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but I'm dizzy and I'm not on the comedown
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but I can't tell which way is up from down
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but I've never been quite this close to dead
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...sorry
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4. |
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I fucked it up again
Trapped under my skin
I just can't seem to win
No, this life won't let me win
But I know I really wanna get better
And I'll say I really wanna get better
And I'll claim I really wanna get better
But not right now
And I lost myself again
Trapped under my skin
I just can't see the end
There's something in here with me
Lost myself again
Trapped under my skin
Just can't see the end
Cause it's blocking out my vision
And I know I really wanna get better
And I'll say I really wanna get better
And I claim I really wanna get better
So why not now
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kiffin Tulsa, Oklahoma
kiffin is an acoustic/diy project from Tulsa, Oklahoma.
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